Taking Another Go At It on Wednesday

I have a 'draft' IEP meeting on Wednesday at 2:45pm with Nathaniel's teachers as well as his Occupational Therapist. The actual IEP meeting to set the new IEP in place for next year is not until April 20th. I am very glad they gave me the opportunity for a 'draft' meeting because I have so much I need to ask, say and just get out there basically.

Nathaniel has been in OT for almost 2 years now for a weak fine motor skill. However, now after having received OT for that amount of time I have noticed little to no improvement in his handwriting. His fine motor skills are fine, I do not see his challenges as muscle challenges anymore it is something deeper. It is almost like the connect of his brain making the letter, how it looks and then writing it down is where the issue is. He can dictate wonderful sentences but when it comes to writing it down it just doesn't happen. He shortens his sentences thus resulting in misspelling and basically slaughtering his entire train of thought.

When I first started noticing there was 'something there' with Nathaniel I looked at Dysgraphia. A year later he was diagnosed with Dyslexia so I thought I had found the key to the puzzle. Now after 2 years of OT I can't help but think there is still something 'missing', a piece to the puzzle I have yet to find. Now I am turning my attention back to Dysgraphia which often goes hand in hand with Dyslexia.

Most of my amazing support comes from my ladies on iVillage. Without those wonderful women, moms, teachers, supporters and friends I don't think I would have made it this far. I CL Special Education Plans, (please follow the link in my tag to the right) and I am so proud to be the CL there. I believe I have the best board in the world there, full of wonderful women that have nothing but information and words of encouragement for me and other moms who are going through similar things.

So here I go again on Wednesday, back to another IEP meeting. I already have my notes ready to go. I will not stop until I am 100% certain I am getting exactly what I need for Nathaniel.

Continuing to be Bullied

The title pretty much says it all. I am continuing to be bullied by Nathaniel's Special Education Teacher. She continues to try to get me to sign IEP's when I don't feel they are in the best interest of Nathaniel and I continue to refuse. I am too weary of what has been going on lately to write it all down. I just don't have the energy right now. I have been posting like a mad woman on iVillage and getting some awesome support, as usual, from the ladies over there. I cannot say enough about iVillage, the support, love and friendship I receive over there is amazing. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful place to go and vent when I need too. Some of my best friends truly do live in the the computer.

I have given alot of thought to writing down the entire story of the trials we have gone through in regards to Nathaniel's Dyslexia and getting him the help he needs. Hopefully someday soon I will have the energy to sit down and put it all into organized words. But right now I am too weary of it all.

Moving Forward at School with a Few Changes

As I have written before, in Sept. 2009 Nathaniel was diagnosed with Dyslexia. This has been a long, bumpy and sometimes trying road for us. It seems though that somehow this year, 3rd grade year, has been the year of Nathaniel! The school year started off bumpy for him to say the least. He was upset, having meltdowns, and could not understand many things that were going on in school. Once we had his IEP in place though and he started receiving his Dyslexia tutoring things began to calm down.

This week I got an email from his teachers saying how well he is doing and how much he has grown since the beginning of the year. I couldn't agree more! He will now be spending more time with his General Education class and following the 3rd grade curriculum with them. He will only go to Special Ed. for small group help for a short amount of time to receive support where he needs it. I am so proud of him! I am very nervous though. I requested that his work load not be the same as the typical 3rd grader. Writing is a daunting task for Nathaniel to say the least. I am very worried about him being 'bogged down' with homework. Homework that is easy and done quickly by children without Nathaniel's challenges can be very drawn out for him. I just want him to stay successful. It took so long for him to do well and feel good about himself, I want that to continue.

So many struggles

Honestly, too many struggles lately. I have spent the past two weeks stressed out beyond words. On September 8th Nathaniel was diagnosed with Dyslexia. It was to me a bittersweet thing to learn, I was happy to finally have a name for what he has been going through for years, but there was sadness too because I now know he will struggle with it for the rest of his life.

To say that I have thrown myself head first into learning about Dyslexia is an understatement. I immediately searched for books, the first being, 'The Gift of Dyslexia'. I am currently about half way through the book. This book has opened an entire world to me, as I read it I find myself nodding in agreement. Nathaniel has shown all of these signs for years, I just never knew what they were a result of.

I am planning to take the certification to become a Dyslexia tutor as well. It is so important to me to learn how to help him to the best of my ability. No one else will stand up for my child and be an advocate for him, that is my job.

Dealing with the school has proven to be a challenge to say the least. What I have learned is that they don't want to do anymore than they have to. It is so much easier for them to label him as a 'behavior problem' rather than to learn how to help him and cope with his Dyslexia. After a phone call to central office and about three IEP Meetings, (conference with his teachers for his Individualized Education Plan), people were finally polite with us. He has finally qualified for Dyslexia tutoring through the City Schools. Do I think that one hour a week is enough? NO. But that is all I can right now. I have to take the certification because after much research I have found that Dyslexia Tutors are EXPENSIVE, $40 an hour for 3 hours a week.

My short term goal is to help my son in all the ways that I can. My long term goal is to help other Dyslexic children and their parents by providing affordable tutoring. At some point money isn't what it is all about, its about helping everyone. Dyslexia is not a rich persons disability, anyone can have it. I intend to help those people, if all I can do is provide support and tutoring I will do it. No one should ever have to go through the battles I have gone through in the past month to get help for their child.

So I just Keep on Truckin'

I had Nathaniel's end of the year IEP meeting today. Good points:

1. In Math he is above average, except for word problems. Math is concrete so he understands it very well.

2. His verbal comprehension level is 4th grade.

3. He has improved greatly in OT with his fine motor skill.

Things that we continue to work on:

1. He is reading and comprehending what he reads on a 1.3 grade level, he should be near 3.0. He almost always drops the second sound in a word and since he spends so much time trying to read he forgets what he has read. (I get so confused on this and how to help him because this is a very strong point for me and always has been.)

2. In OT he has some deficiancies in his visual perception and visual memory. This is causing him to not remember directions or to not understand them the way they are written. He sees things differently and understands them differently. He is an auditory learner. So they will be reading directions outloud to him more often to help him understand. I will be taking him to be tested for dyslexia which I think is a big possibilty for him after seeing the results today. He has been on Special Ed. for almost a year now so results are much more concrete.

3. Nathaniel cannot handle change well, I knew this. I always have. I believe this stems back to his mother leaving him and the way his life was as a young baby and toddler. We always have to give him a 5minute warning before changing actitivties at home, they will be starting to do this at school too. Hopefully this will help him ease into changes better.

I was assured that he would have a good teacher next year. Nathaniel is already dreading 3rd grade. See this is where he 'I don't like change' thing comes in. He has told me several times in the car that he doesn't want to go to 3rd grade, but then last year at this time he didn't want to go to 2nd grade.

The principal told me that most parents just throw their hands up in the air when their kids are like Nathaniel and require this much work. She said that I don't though, she has never met a parent like me who doesn't have to help a child but does. I choose to be his mom and help him, she said 'he's not even yours and you are so dedicated'. She's right, I am. Nathaniel is my world, I would do anything for him and basically have. I will never quite working for him and with him. My only hope is that if something ever happens to me that someone lets him know how much Becky did for him. How much I love him and how much I want him to succeed. I don't want a medal at all, I am just doing my job, being a mom. But sometimes to hear those words 'you are a great mom' really feels good.

So for now, we'll just keep on truckin'. We'll get there, it just takes us a little longer but I won't give up on him.

"Rivers know this, there is no hurry. We shall get there someday."-Winnie the Pooh

These are some websites I found which describe his visual challenges, the second one has great games to help strengthen his visual skills.

http://familyfun.go.com/parenting/learn/assess/feature/dony18learningdisabled/dony18learningdisabled3.html

http://www.eyecanlearn.com/index.htm#Form%20Constancy

OT

Yesterday I went to have lunch with Nathaniel. His teacher told me Tuesday to have a letter requesting OT in my hand. She believes a week fine motor skill grip on his pencil is causing him to have problems writing. I fully support her on this. I have often wondered about it but then when they didn't find anything in all of the testing I just thought that well maybe I was wrong. He always has a death grip on his pencil, he doesn't like coloring, doing clay or even cutting b/c he has always complained that it hurts. I am bringing home some fine motor things from my classroom for him to use as well but I cna't wait to get things going for him to help him feel better about school. He loves the supply cart at school and has been buying pencil grips all week, I know they make writing much more comfortable for him. So that is the latest installment in my struggle to get things just write for Nathaniel at school. I feel like things are really going in the right direction. Since his first grade year things have gotten so much more positive for him at school.
I feel like his first grade teacher laid the positive relationship, I needed someone to love him, be patient w/ him and believe in him and his first grade teacher did that, and she gave me someone I could trust and believe in too. Now his second grade teacher is just taking it to the next level by giving me the knowledge and tools that I need to get him the help and assistance he needs. I love his principal too, I just could not ask for a better experience right now.